📝📚 Stages Of Grief When Exiting Religion
1.) Restless Awareness
5.) Bargaining/ Merging
LIVE REPLAY👉🏾 https://bit.ly/2OQ09Xh
So many people move through this unsuccessfully and alone. It’s not exactly like mourning the loss of a person. It’s a hybrid. You’re literally mourning the loss of identity, culture and social aspects.
Relationships and the way in which you once knew them are threatened. And it’s like a living death. You still SEE and LIVE with the things you had to say goodbye to.
And like a natural death, many of us didn’t ask for this. This was our unique design from birth.
You don’t always have to move through this cycle in this exact sequence.
I’ve personally powered through this entire cycle a couple of loops. At times I still can feel certain phases. My awareness of them is what helps me to cycle through easier.
This series/information is intended to unite us through this common process. My hope is that through awareness you know you’re not alone in this experience, it’s a process that will cycle through and you’re not going crazy. I affirm your grief.
1.) Restless Awareness
This is the time where you’re starting to be aware that something is happening. You’re aware of a disconnect. You become restless. It’s hard to sit in church. You consider moving churches. A lot of people go from church to church (church hoping) trying to find a right “fit”. It’s hard to sit in through an entire sermon. You often times have an inner dialogue of, “why did I even come today?” In fact, it was hard for you to even get dressed and make it at the door anyway. The messages become very remedial for you. You feel dissatisfied, unfed and hungry. But your discontentment extend out past the church and in other areas of your life as well.
Not everyone goes through this phase. But for individuals that do depending on how strong their minds are. They will run back into the box of religion. Trying to convince themselves that what they’re feeling is just the devil trying to take them away from Christ/God. So they fight.
This is a very common phase and quite honestly is the longest for many of us. We’re so angry at the years we lost. Angry and confused about who we are. mini feel that they were lied to. Going through the path reprogramming is painful and emotional. Reconnecting with who we truly are. Challenging all the things that we were taught and conditioned to believe. Disappointed and sad because of the relationships that we have lost because of our personal change in beliefs. Disappointed that you thought some relationships could withstand a shift in your personal choice. Disappointed in the people that no longer call you anymore. Displays can be very lonely and spend many people into isolation. This phase is so layered. But the message that I want you to take away from it is not to stay here. Have your season and get yourself out of this phase. MANY DON’T!
This was a phase that I forgot to put in the video. But it’s very important to dialogue about. This phase is where many feel guilty for even having an awakening. You feel guilty for changing the dynamic of your entire family. You feel guilty and worried about the ridicule that your family would get because of your personal decision. And you’ll find yourself hiding and being silent about your own belief for trying to protect or preserve the feelings of others. Almost like, “why couldn’t I have just been content and believed what everybody else does?”
5.) Bargaining/ Merging
The bargaining phase is one of those phases where everyone may not experience. But for me it was when you try to merge your current belief system with a new belief system. In spite of the cognitive dissidents. The fear of damnation is so engrossed and ingrained into your psyche that you honestly believe that you can make a deal and create your own version of something in spite of the multitude of conflicts.
Acceptance is beautiful. It’s almost like when the clouds begin to lift. You’re OK with where you are. You feel the most confident the most secure the most happy in the mouth strength but you’ve ever felt in your life. Nothing could get you to go back into the limitations of religion.
But don’t think that this stops there. Remember the cycle is a circle and a circle will always come back around. And it is not uncommon for people to experience these phases repeatedly. That does not mean that you didn’t do it right. That does not mean that you weren’t strong enough. You will get tired. You will need a break sometimes. But never stop flowing! Your pursuit means that you are human. Stay committed to healing and reprogramming!
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