Ex-Church Girl: In my FIRST same sex partnership

Dear Church Sis:

My first relationship with a woman; let me free you!

Let me just start off by saying that having a girlfriend is lit! And EVERYONE deserves to experience this type of divine connection.


Shadow Work To Your Divine Mate- 11/4 (Through Facebook)

Next, I will go into my biography. I’m 4th generation Church of God in Christ. The largest African American Pentecostal denomination in the world. Make sure that word Pentecostal is highlighted.

Ex born and raised Pentecostals will let you know that holiness is right. 👎🏾 Holiness Aka: a list of legalistic. A compounding list of do's and don’ts so that you can make it into the kingdom.

I won’t waste too much time here. Because honestly the more I learn and study the more I realize how powerful I am to have escaped such a situation. The way I gave healed and removed the brainwashing! I am a loving testimony!

After a complete deconstruction of almost 3 years my life is completely different.

I stopped at tithing and started investing. I stopped asking for healing from a deity I had no faith in. I started commanding my body.

And I damn sure stopped waiting on instructions to be given to me about my life. I no longer subscribe to a being that is more powerful than me that has the right to dictate what I have, how much I have, and when I have it.

Why are humans so afraid of making mistakes? Do what you FEEL! Is that not what we reincarnated here for? To experience? (Moving on...)

I decided to become God and to strip myself of every judgment, idea, perspective and opinion that was given to me. Taught to me. Demonstrated to me. Even if it was given in good faith and from a good heart.

It was given by people who accept limits to this very day. In fact, some people think so little of themselves that they feel like they have to be given limits so that they can know how to behave and live. We sang “I am nothing without you” Sunday after Sunday.

I finally realized I could no longer live by and design my life according to regurgitated opinions.

But I think the most recent finding of one of my soulmates as my divine partner has changed my world. And I would’ve completely missed this person had I’d been under the same scales as Paul.

But as I continue to unfold and rebuild my programming, I was able to let the limit and judgment of who my partner had to be pertaining to their gender. And there she was!

I remember the first time I knew that there was something special about her. I’d been in contact with her for over a year on social media. And I never thought anything past a flirting friendship.

Because that’s what a lot of straight girls do anyway. Or girls that claim to be straight. Curious if you will? If you like attention like I do, you pretty much don’t mind where it comes from.

And she wasn’t bad looking! (Wink wink)

We’ve gone over the story with each other time and time again. It’s really totally beautiful. That moment when I looked at her and she called my name.

This part gets hard to describe. But in my heart chakra, right in my chest, it was like magma deep inside that illuminated. It got warm. I physically felt a bright warm energy in the center of my chest when she called my name and I looked in her eyes through a FB LIVE.

This had nothing to do with her gender. And everything to do with her energy. Her spirit. Her heart. I could FEEL it. I don’t subscribe to a title. Because I don’t think anybody is gay or straight. I don’t think that is a thing actually. I think everybody is attracted to whomever they want. And they will be a lot more love if people didn’t have the limits of gender keeping them from the people that they know good and damn well they are attracted to.

I was shook. This is a woman. And my heart knows her. Just two days of us video chatting I knew she was it. I knew I loved her. I made a choice.

Falling in love with a woman and adding her to my family has probably been the highlight of my year!

But I had to let go of judgment. This statement is incredibly multi layered and I want to try to explain this concept to you.

This is my daily practice. I practice observing without judgment.

We observe a lot of things. But with our limited minds, we quickly associate a tag or definition to the things that we see. Way too quickly. With limited information about the totality of what we’re viewing.

We see women with multiple children, and assume she’s living the baby daddy life. We see people with older cars. Perhaps a little body damage. And we presume that they cannot afford another one.

So much unknown. Such definite determinations. SMH. I learned that not only was this ignorant but if I continued down this path that I would limited my entire life and would have kept so many things away from myself.

I can still find value in some of the text of the Christian Bible. One scripture stands out that reminds us that God will withhold no good thing from you.

I am God. And because I can finally observe without judgment, I have opened up this world to me. I withhold NOTHING from myself. I can have everything! Anything can serve me. Anything can be beneficial to me. perspective allows me this as well.

When you render a verdict/judgment, you cut things off and say only a tiny bit of what a thing could be. You been to Jamaica and you think you know the WORLD? You watch the news and firm entire outlooks on things you’ve never EXPERIENCED.

You don’t even know that you’re limited! And narrow. Sheltered. Closed. Best wishes love...

I allowed that thing to show me what it could be. And that blew my mind!

Literally, many of us chokehold our manifestations because we demand they come “one certain way”. And even if you don’t demand it (that one way) in your petitions, your programming will continue to be pigeon-heled by it. Your programming determines it.

Change the program. Jabez that hoe. Enlarge your frame of reference.

Being loved by an ascended woman is completely different. Not only is she god as well, but she is also mindful of her triggers/emotion NOT to project them into me. HUGE!

It is tender. It is soft. It is intentional. It is mindful. It is holy. The detail. The beauty. The physical is a PLUS I honestly didn’t think I would enjoy as much as I do!

Let me sum this all up. Having a girlfriend is lit. Did I say that already? Dear ‘never been married church girl’, It’s not too late!

Because many of us could absolutely love women. If open to receiving truth be told. And if we hadn’t fallen into the trap of fear & sin, we would’ve experienced this magnitude of love a long time ago.

Give yourself permission to live. Not just exist. And surely not to suffer for anybody’s sake.

Never let anything keep you from experiencing this type of love. Connecting. Safety and bond.

Beyond a relationship, when you learn how to observe life and the things that occur without quickly determining its value; When you allow the things, you see to show you the full possibilities of what they could be, you will open doors for yourself that no man can close.

You become the skeleton key. The master key. The master of your fate. The curator. The creator. You become fearless. And you actively walk in your God nature. As a Creator. Sovereign.

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